The Version of Me That Tolerated That Doesn’t Exist Anymore

There was a version of me that accepted things I shouldn’t have.

That stayed quiet when I should have spoken up.
That overexplained.
That gave people the benefit of the doubt long after they had shown me exactly who they were.

I made excuses for people.
I told myself they didn’t mean it.
That they were just going through something.
That if I was more patient, more understanding, more easygoing… things would change.

But they didn’t.

And at some point, something in me shifted.

Not all at once.
Not in some big dramatic moment.

Just slowly.

I started noticing how things made me feel.
I started paying attention to what I was tolerating.
I started realizing that constantly feeling anxious, confused, or not good enough… wasn’t normal.

And more importantly, it wasn’t something I had to keep accepting.

So I stopped.

I stopped explaining myself to people who were committed to misunderstanding me.
I stopped shrinking to make other people comfortable.
I stopped holding onto relationships that only existed because I kept holding them together.

And it was uncomfortable.

Because when you start changing, not everyone likes the new version of you.

The version that has boundaries.
The version that says no.
The version that doesn’t just go along with things anymore.

But that version?

She’s the one that saved me.

The version of me that tolerated that doesn’t exist anymore.

And she’s not coming back.

Pour your cofee, stay awhile

– Kayla